Is Barack Obama Hawaiian Royalty?

It seems there is a new birther conspiracy theory. This one admits that he was born in Hawaii but maintains that he is not qualified to be President because he is the descendent of Hawaiian royalty. The basis for this theory seems to be this article in which Obama admits his royal heritage:

Tourists at the beach would sometimes assume Obama was Hawaiian, and his grandfather "would come up beside them and whisper, with appropriate reverence, that I was the great-grandson of King Kamehameha," Obama recalled.

Those of us who are sane would interpret this as a joke but let us continue. A blogger known as MissTICKLY gives us the conclusions of her investigation, for which of course there is no evidence.

MissTICKLY may have found evidence tending to indicate that (please take a deep breath) Barack Obama is the son of cousins, Stanley Ann Dunham and Frank Marshall Davis — and Hawaiian royalty — perhaps heir to the Hawaiian throne. If true, this would imply criminal fraud by Obama.

Can I breathe now? MissTICKLY explains it all in this radio interview (except for the parts about Frank Marshall Davis being his father, and his parents being cousins and Obama being royalty) but she does go on in tedious detail about her communications with the State of Hawaii which lead her to believe that Obama is hiding something.